Just peddle yourself over there Roc – she’s not going to get it… You’ll just have to learn to know when it’s just bait or not – Trust your sense and your senses – You’ll see the signs and understand how to read them. Don’t forget to lift with your knees not your back…

Huh?! Yeah, I know, she said it was a computer problem…

Oh! And after you do something, whatever it is, GLUE IT DOWN, it won’t stop her, but it’ll slow her down. The couch, cords… TV… Her bed… the dishes… Even if it’s the computer mouse! Hover it over the Internet button and secure it! With a little bit of Elmers Glue you can solve 99% of future computer “help desk calls” which are 49% finding the Internet button and 50% because she clicked on something she wasn’t supposed to… Grandma still thinks clicking OK is the proper way to clear a pop up… But we still love her…

And if she tries to hand you a new pet or anything with a pulse as payment – don’t accept – and if she insists – tell her you’ll eat it – she’ll stop trying. That’s why she still has a pet Pig Named Wilbur – in her head, she’s saving him from slaughter… But I digress.

If all else fails, tell her to call your brother, even if you know he has no clue what to do.

You’re welcome and Good Luck!

Dad